My son started kindergarten the 1st week of July (year round school district), and he had a very tough time when I left him the first day. By the time I picked him up, he was saying how much he loves kindergarten. But in the last week he has developed an anxiety, and has been saying he doesn't want to go, and crying when I take him. I help in the class every Monday, so I see that he is doing very well with the work load. His teacher lets me stay as long as I like when dropping him off, but I know he needs to do this on his own.
The teacher thinks it might have something to do with 2 new students that started last week, and one that cried hysterically on her 1st day, while sitting next to my son. That is when it all seemed to start. He went to one year of preschool, and never had any anxiety issues.
Is it normal for anxiety to set in after a few weeks, even for an eager to learn student? Or can a frightened new student trigger it? And how can I help him cope and get back to wanting to go to school?
It is not uncommon at all for the fear to go away the first few days and then return. It sounds like the little girl who was afraid made your little boy sad, and that is normal too. He felt for her, and he understood her fear. Think of that as a strength for him and ask him how that other little girl is doing now.
When you take him to school, try not to be sad with him, but stay understanding. When he says he is scared, tell him you understand he is unsure, but stress that you know he will be fine. If he believes you are sure, it will help him. Then ask, besides being a little unsure about going, is there anything that he will enjoy today. Focus on the fact that he is just unsure about going, not staying – he is good at that. Once he is there, ask him what he likes to do. Ask him when things get the most fun. Does he like group time, recess, songs, just talk about the things he likes.
Also, cut your entrance time down. Tell him you don't want to make him sad when school starts, so you will go in with him when he shows you a little smile. Tell him you want to feel happy together when you go into school. See if this helps. In a way you are telling him you are not going in with him unless he shows a little relief, and this might help him. He wants you with him right now for his entrance. You are helping him 'cross the threshold' but you need to back off as soon as possible to allow him to do it on his own.
It happens all the time, so do not feel alone. Your goal should be to make him feel happier about going to school, gain a sense of comfort about it, and add to a calm entrance in school. Let me know how things progress. He'll be fine (and so will you).
1 comment:
My daughter is suffering from the same thing. She was fine (she had gone to two years of pre-school), but started crying after a boy in her class cried every day for the first month.
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